Here it comes again. The same question. “Why doesn’t your son play sports?” The bottom line is because he doesn’t want to. I think parents of most nerdy boys have heard this at least once. I know I have.
My son used to play flag football but now attends a science academy where there are no sports teams. While he likes football and baseball there are a few things he loves more. He would much rather be reading, playing video games, or working on a robot. While I know it’s important for him to exercise and stay healthy, I also understand that the future is in technology. He’s never going to be a sports star and that’s okay with me. He loves to build things and imagine a world with more automation and robotics. So how do you deal with parents who think your son should be playing a sport or he’s not a “real man”?
Who are these people?
There are a few simple tricks that I’ve learned I had a deal with nosey, know-it-all parents. Before you respond make sure you know who you are dealing with. Are they well-meaning or just critical? Do they truly have your child’s best interests at heart?
If they are indeed well-meaning, normally these are grandparents or other relatives or close friends who are genuinely concerned about their screen time and apparent lack of exercise. With these people, the best way to respond is usually in a matter of fact way, letting them know that he gets exercise by doing (fill in the blank) activity and his doctor is aware and on board with how much screen time he has. Reassure them that he takes enough breaks from the screen to have a life apart for the computer.
When dealing with critical people who have no real interest in your child’s health or well being, the best thing to do is not respond. It is none of their business. You are not required to justify your parenting to every Nosy Nancy that comes by. (No offense to all the non-nosy Nancys out there).
Teach your child that adults can be bullies too and there is nothing wrong with walking away if someone, even an adult is bothering you. There will always be some people who think that sports are more important than academics. You will never change their minds no matter how hard you try. You are better off walking away.
So why do they feel the need to ask the question?
For many, they were asked the same questions growing up and many of them were pushed into sports by parents who did not feel like it was important enough to defend their child’s interests. Many parents did not want to go against the “advice” of grandma and grandpa. Many parents thought it would toughen up their son to play a sport or that they were not manly enough if they did not play.
Are men not “real men” if they don’t play sports?
Not at all. Look at some of the leaders in our world, Stephen Hawkings, Marc Benioff, and Elon Musk. They have built empires without playing sports past elementary school.
Sports can be great for learning teamwork and creating a healthy lifestyle, but they are not the only way to accomplish that goal.
The bottom line is no one has the right to bully or harass you or your child about not playing sports. How you deal with the situation will teach your child how to stand up for themselves. If your child is interested in sports, by all means, encourage them. There are some great benefits to playing on a team, but not all successful people need to be involved in sports to succeed in life. Let your nerd find their own way.
Enjoying MommyNerdist? Sign up for our free newsletter today!
Comments
Excellent read, I just passed this onto a colleague who was doing a little research on that. And he just bought me lunch because I found it for him smile So let me rephrase that: Thank you for lunch!